Man's best friend

Thursday, Feb 8   As we settle into life back at home there are ups and downs. It is hard to summarize all of it. Gary is getting competently along inside the home. He continues to try to do everything possible for himself, but gets frustrated at how much time it takes. His general health seems Ok but there are lots of days he just doesn't feel well. His leg spasms are getting worse so we are hoping for more meds to help that out. Also a new apparatus arrived and was put together yesterday. It is called a standing frame and it has a hydraulic lift to raise Gary and hold him in a standing position. When used regularly it should help the leg spasms. These spasms are painful, not to mention disruptive. They are so strong that they can jerk Gary's body into precarious positions. We have heard stories of folks being thrown out of their wheelchairs - thankfully this has not happened to Gary (yet). Unfortunately we have not been able to get Gary outside very often. Our house is on bumpy, unlevel ground and the driveway is gravel. The wheelchair is not able to negotiate the terrain. We will eventually figure out some solutions to this but right now the only way to get him out is to drag him over the bumps....Bax is able to do this, but I am not strong enough. Our friends Randy and Susie visited and insisted he go all over the property. They took him as Gary would say "over Hell's half acre". It was great to see friends and they really helped Gary feel better!!! Bax has been terrific trying to do the yard maintenance, but NO ONE could follow in Gary's shoes as far as that goes. This is discourging to Gary and he keeps saying that we need to move because it is too much work.   Anyway I'll finish with a typical Gary story. When we discharged from the Tampa VA two very efficient nurse types came in with a computer to do the final interview. They asked Gary lots of questions carefuly noting each answer in their computer...Questions like "Do you know which medicines to take?" "Have you been warned how to prevent bedsores?" Then they get to "Who will be your primary caregiver?" He answers "My wife, Judi." Next question - "Is there someone else you can count on to help you in an emergency?" Gary says "Trevor"....and they question the spelling and carefully type in T-R-E-V-O-R. Nurse - "Who is Trevor?"  Gary - "My best friend" Nurses - "Where does Trevor live?" Gary - "He lives in the house with us". Nurses - "Can you get hold of him easily?" Gary - "Yes, I just call him." On they go with the rest of the questions....never realizing Trevor is the dog.   We do miss our friends and I hope that soon Gary will be ready to see them.    Thank you for caring, Judi and Gary 

Starting to renovate

Monday, January 30   I haven't written lately as there really hasn't been much new news. Actually there isn't much new today either so you can skip reading this.   Gary is continuing to try to adjust to his new life at home. Unfortunately he got sick after being home for about a week - I swear it wasn't my cooking. He claimed it was a really "weird" experience. He can't feel anything from the chest down so all the signs in the midsection that might accompany illness were not there; i.e. pain, cramping, etc. Although this may sound like a blessing it actually serves to mask any helpful hints to Gary or health care folks as to what is wrong. There are so many things about this paralysis that neither Gary nor I imagined which can be confusing and overwhelming.  After a visit to the VA in Gainesville and some antibiotics Gary is beginning to feel better. Whew.   Daily activities such as dressing and bathing still take up quite a bit of time but we managed to enjoy a new adventure...we went to the movies with my dad and his wife. It was fun for Gary to get out of the house and we even got there in time! Gary was so hapy he didn't run over or back into anyone in the darkened theater. We laughed our way through "One for the Money" and it was wonderful to see Gary laugh! (I love the Stephanie Plum novels on which this movie is based - probably because I can relate to her as she sort of incompetently and hilariously stumbles her way along.)   We are still quite preoccupied with modifications to the house to make things easier for Gary. One thing we don't have to worry about is the floor in his room. Our good friend Jay Tucker came out twice to our house and with his brother Will put new flooring down for us. They run a business doing this (and recently have added other handyman services to their repertoire). They did a wonderful job, so professional, competent and quick. These two unbelievable friends then would not let us pay them, no matter how hard I tried. "This is a gift" was all they would say. We are so blessed, and now Gary can freely wheel about, practicing his wheelies in his room - thank you Tucker Brothers!!!   I hope everyone who is reading this - both of you - are well and happy. Judi and Gary

Monday, January 30   I haven't written lately as there really hasn't been much new news. Actually there isn't much new today either so you can skip reading this.   Gary is continuing to try to adjust to his new life at home. Unfortunately he got sick after being home for about a week - I swear it wasn't my cooking. He claimed it was a really "weird" experience. He can't feel anything from the chest down so all the signs in the midsection that might accompany illness were not there; i.e. pain, cramping, etc. Although this may sound like a blessing it actually serves to mask any helpful hints to Gary or health care folks as to what is wrong. There are so many things about this paralysis that neither Gary nor I imagined which can be confusing and overwhelming.  After a visit to the VA in Gainesville and some antibiotics Gary is beginning to feel better. Whew.   Daily activities such as dressing and bathing still take up quite a bit of time but we managed to enjoy a new adventure...we went to the movies with my dad and his wife. It was fun for Gary to get out of the house and we even got there in time! Gary was so hapy he didn't run over or back into anyone in the darkened theater. We laughed our way through "One for the Money" and it was wonderful to see Gary laugh! (I love the Stephanie Plum novels on which this movie is based - probably because I can relate to her as she sort of incompetently and hilariously stumbles her way along.)   We are still quite preoccupied with modifications to the house to make things easier for Gary. One thing we don't have to worry about is the floor in his room. Our good friend Jay Tucker came out twice to our house and with his brother Will put new flooring down for us. They run a business doing this (and recently have added other handyman services to their repertoire). They did a wonderful job, so professional, competent and quick. These two unbelievable friends then would not let us pay them, no matter how hard I tried. "This is a gift" was all they would say. We are so blessed, and now Gary can freely wheel about, practicing his wheelies in his room - thank you Tucker Brothers!!!   I hope everyone who is reading this - both of you - are well and happy. Judi and Gary

Starting to renovate

Monday, January 30   I haven't written lately as there really hasn't been much new news. Actually there isn't much new today either so you can skip reading this.   Gary is continuing to try to adjust to his new life at home. Unfortunately he got sick after being home for about a week - I swear it wasn't my cooking. He claimed it was a really "weird" experience. He can't feel anything from the chest down so all the signs in the midsection that might accompany illness were not there; i.e. pain, cramping, etc. Although this may sound like a blessing it actually serves to mask any helpful hints to Gary or health care folks as to what is wrong. There are so many things about this paralysis that neither Gary nor I imagined which can be confusing and overwhelming.  After a visit to the VA in Gainesville and some antibiotics Gary is beginning to feel better. Whew.   Daily activities such as dressing and bathing still take up quite a bit of time but we managed to enjoy a new adventure...we went to the movies with my dad and his wife. It was fun for Gary to get out of the house and we even got there in time! Gary was so hapy he didn't run over or back into anyone in the darkened theater. We laughed our way through "One for the Money" and it was wonderful to see Gary laugh! (I love the Stephanie Plum novels on which this movie is based - probably because I can relate to her as she sort of incompetently and hilariously stumbles her way along.)   We are still quite preoccupied with modifications to the house to make things easier for Gary. One thing we don't have to worry about is the floor in his room. Our good friend Jay Tucker came out twice to our house and with his brother Will put new flooring down for us. They run a business doing this (and recently have added other handyman services to their repertoire). They did a wonderful job, so professional, competent and quick. These two unbelievable friends then would not let us pay them, no matter how hard I tried. "This is a gift" was all they would say. We are so blessed, and now Gary can freely wheel about, practicing his wheelies in his room - thank you Tucker Brothers!!!   I hope everyone who is reading this - both of you - are well and happy. Judi and Gary

Settling in...

Friday, Jan 20,   Well, we have now been home for one week and things seem to be settling down a bit.   Quite often I use this Blob to thank people who have gone out of their way to help us, but this time I am going to talk only about Gary. I will still have thank you's to more angels at another date.   Gary is an amazing person. He has been so strong throughout this entire process. He continues to do as much as possible for himself while trying not to ask for help unless it is absolutely necessary. I am constantly impressed by his determination. Sometimes it will take him over an hour to get dressed, but he will not "bother" me and he will keep working at it until he gets it done. His pain level seems to be a little worse lately, but he doesn't complain and if I show him any sympathy he just shrugs his shoulders and says "That's the way it goes." He can now get in and out of the shower by himself and that is wonderful. He has always been such a clean person and 2 showers /week in the hospitals just wasn't working for him. Sometimes it takes almost 2 hours...but he is squeaky-clean!!!   Gary has his own room downstairs now and he spent lots of time organizing his clothes (on the shelves I hung in the closet!!! DYI Judi) so that he can be self-sufficient. Also he has alot of medical supplies so we have reorganized the bathroom across the hall from his bedroom.  All of his supplies are within his reach, so he can go solo. I actually liketo help him, but it makes him feel better to be independent. At times it is hard NOT to help, so I have to remind myself to stay out of his way and let him try things.   At Shepherd Center they told us that life would be "lower and slower". From our experience that is so true. "Slower" of course means everything does take longer- an adjustment for both of us. "Lower" means that alot of our house no longer is accessible to Gary. Much is out of reach, so we are making changes so he can reach things, WOW!!!! Who knew?   It is difficult for me to explain how much admiration I have for Gary's attitude. He continues to try and make the best of things. He is very patient when things aren't going his way. Believe me some of the things I have seen him struggle with have brought tears to my eyes as I watch....like taking almost 30 minutes to get his shoes on. He doesn't scream (or even swear) and throw the shoes like I would have, he just keeps working at it. Remembering how independent he always was I guess I shouldn't be surprised . However watching him struggle is hard. I have told many people that sometimes I think he is handling all this better than I am!!   I hope you all are well and that we will begin to see our friends soon,   Judi and Gary