Happy Halloween!!!

Monday, Oct 31

Happy Halloween.  There is an amazing amount of Halloween cheer here at the rehab hospital. Patients' faces are painted, the therapy room is now a haunted house, and all the staff is dressed for the occasion. Quite fun. One patient has quite a diabolical sense of humor. He was being pushed around in a stretcher bed, dressed as Michael Jackson, accompanied by a black man in an MD coat ....there was actually a flat line beeping noise going on - OUCH! Everyone here says you really need a sense of humor to get through this period of rehab.

Gary is up and about today in his wheelchair and as of 11am nothing had interfered with his therapy schedule - Hooray!!! He was happy and motivated by this. We also had a meeting with Gary's attending physician. His name is Dr Lin and he has a similar injury to Gary. He has been in a wheelchair for many years and can really relate to his patients. Gary always enjoys speaking with him as they can speak Dr to Dr. Dr Lin did confirm that the trauma to Gary's spinal cord did so much damage that it is not realistic to expect any use of his legs in the future. He showed Gary all kinds of "radiographs" of the injury. Gary has understood all along what it all means and is trying to stay realistic with his expectations.

OOOPS, I left Jackie off the list of generous folks who gave us the laptop, thank you Jackie!

Hugs to you all,

Judi and Gary

Sunday, October 30

So sorry I haven't been posting for the last few days. It has been a busy time. Also to be quite honest, I have had a bit of trouble figuring out what to say.

I am in Atlanta with Gary. He has been quite discouraged which has made it difficult for me to know what to write. I couldn't find a way to put a positive spin on it. So here's the straight scoop:

Gary feels he is not making any forward progress and is so frustrated with the situation. Although it is quite like Gary to be unsatisfied without rapid progress in anything, this is a new low for any time in his life. Medically he is slowly but surely stabilizing. Obviously this is a good thing, but it is eclipsed by his anxiety about the lack of activity. Almost each time he gets up to do therapy something interferes and he gets placed back in bed. This last time he was in bed for almost 48 straight hours - needless to say he feels helpless.

Yesterday it got so bad that Gary was inventing ways to "break out" of this place, get to any "cheap hospital" where he would receive "terrible care" and hopefully be put out of his misery by dying. He told me I should rent a UHaul van with a ramp he could drive his wheelchair into the back. Then I was supposed to get bungie cords out of the back of his truck, strap him into place, and head for the nearest VA hospital. All of this was to be done covertly so the nurses wouldn't realize it was an escape. Do you believe it?

Ok, so the list of angels continues to grow.

Thanks to Phil and Linda who came over and helped Bax learn about the water treatment system at home. Thanks to our neighbors Hussein and Nargges who are trying to feed Bax while I am gone. To Bonnie who sent Gary a funny sign to show "well-intentioned clods" when he didn't want any company. And to Cynthia the wonderful patient care tech who once again braved the sling shower to give Gary a much needed cleaning. Although this time we were better prepared for the water park. We were the laughing stock of the hallway wearing plastic trash bags taped on with adhesive tape.

Thanks to Bax who is keeping the home fires burning and as always to Hali who volunteered to come up and help me make sure the medical staff was doing their job well enough. ("Someone has got to stay on top of them and let's face it, Mom you don't like confrontation").

And lastly thanks to South Dakota Shell who is sending me a word for each day. Today's word is "laughter".

Each of you who have sent cards have really helped, and all the prayers are wonderful. We even received a nice letter from a church in TN letting us know they are praying for us. I guess the best thing that has come from this so far is to be the recipients of so much love. Thank you all from both of us,

Judi and Gary

Dancing Angels

Thursday, Oct 27

This post is not really about Gary. It is about the unbelievable love of friends.

Several weeks ago I posted that a friend (Deb) had ordered a new laptop for Gary because we couldn't figure out what kind to get....and she charged it to her credit card. Well yesterday I took my checkbook to meet with Deb to pick up the laptop. She delivered it with all the trimmings, in a brand new case and told me that it was a gift from our friends at the dance studio. I wasn't allowed to pay for it. All I could do was cry (truly I am quite alot like a faucet lately). When I told Gary about it he had the exact same reaction was I had. We are both so grateful to those folks who are helping him through with their love and support.

Anyway, a huge thank you to the dancing angels:

Bob and Shaq, David, Chris, Mettin, Arlene, Nelson, Harriet and Neilson, Maria, Angie, Eileen and Ray, Bonnie, Ken and Cathy, Gary J., Jim J., Marilyn, Kelli, Debbie, Dan and Margo, Brenna.

I know once we get this cute little job up and running Gary will be thrilled. (Of course we will probably need the help of a 6 or 7 year old to do so.)

Hugs to you all,

Judi

Therapy

Wed, Oct 26

Gary is doing a bit better. His breathing is getting stronger, he is more able to clear his throat and the feverish stuff is subsiding.

He has begun therapy, both Occupational and Physical. These activities have improved his spirits as he now has something to work at and look forward to each day. 

He also got a haircut last night and was very happy about that.

For those of you asking about his psychological condition...well, that's a tough question to answer. Right now is a very difficult time. Neither one of us knows exactly what we are in for. It's always hard to face the unknown, isn't it? Just getting through each day without feeling hopeless is a triumph, so in that regard he is doing a great job. He is so strong. Whenever I ask "How are you doing?" the answer is always "Fine".

Each time I refrain from saying "Liar, liar, pants on fire" is an accomplishment for me.

Here is a story that is so sweet I feel like my fingers will hurt when I type it:

My 89 year old father is recovering from several different cancers and still undergoing chemo. When we told him about Gary's accident he sped immediately to Gary's bedside.

Gary wasn't seeing anyone, but he allowed Dad in. Dad said he just wanted to say ONE THING.

Gary: "I love you, Bill. Who would have thought you would live longer than me?"

Bill (Dad): "I love you like my own son and I came to see if I can trade places with you."

OK, here are some angels; Gayle for care packages, Ann and Stosh for fruit basket, Jan for doing investigative legwork, Santa Tommy and "Little John" for getting the bird's nest out of the garage door opener and fixing that problem. A huge thanks to Gary's brother Randy for filling in for me and doing some "guy" stuff with Gary.

Please - if you helped us and I forgot, I am so sorry. There have been so many angels, thank you all.

One more note. I have found that I am progressing along some kind of journey. My most recent revelation is that I am trying to figure out the part about humor.

At first I couldn't laugh.

Then I thought I shouldn't laugh.

Now I feel I need to laugh.

I pray that no one thinks I am treating any part of this lightly as I share my silliness while I try to cope. Thank you for your understanding.

Judi

Travel, travel, travel...

Monday, October 24.

I am home briefly, then back to Atlanta. Gary's brother Randy came down from Ohio to see Gary and spend time with him while I am gone. It was so good to see Randy, he is a strong and positive person. Gary is very happy to have him there.

In the 2 days before I left Gary was slowly making some progress in the breathing and eating categories. His voice is rather weak so he doesn't talk much. His spirits are OK. Understandably Gary is frustrated by his medical issues and his spirits are certainly improved when he feels better. He is adapting well to the temporary wheelchair. No noteworthy collisions. He will get his own custom made chair later so this is a loaner for now until they figure out exactly what he needs.

Gary just called from Atlanta. He is supposed to be starting his first real therapy today and he is looking forward to it. "Maybe I'll finally get something done. I am tired of laying around." That's the Gary we all know and love!

We owe so many thank you's to folks who have reached out to help us, including the entire staff at the Shepherd Center. Gary and I thank them all. We have made an observation that ALL of the staff at both hospitals (Shands and Shepherd) DO their job well. However there is a distinction between those who DO their job well and those who really CARE about the patient as they do their job well. Interesting.

On the Angels list :Thanks to Susi, Carol, Marilyn, South Dakota ShellWoman and Hali for talking me all the way from Atlanta to home. It was REALLY sad to get home with no Gary. Our little dog Trevor (Gary's favorite-shh, don't tell the other 2 dogs) kept running up to the truck and looking for Gary to come out. Then he just sat by the truck and waited.

There are so many tears in this process.

My father and his wife Dorothy came to stay at the house with Bax for a few days.  Thanks to them for their help.

I am so glad to have my son Bax staying with me!!! He is great company.

Thank you all for caring.

Judi

Showers are good; especially with 3 women;)

Sat, Oct 22

Yesterday was a such big day that I did not have a chance to write anything.

The good news is Gary was up and in a wheelchair for the first time here at the Shepherd Center. The unfortunate component is that apparently he had reinjured his "bad shoulder" in the accident. The orthopedic surgeon feels this will hamper his ability to use both of his arms to push his wheelchair and transfer in and out of it. Surgery is a possibility, but not right now...so this means he is in a motorized wheelchair. Gary was disappointed about this but so happy to get up and about.

I also had a big day yesterday. (I will have more stories for you all later.)

I was in the family training program all day long.

Because this hospital specializes in spinal cord injuries they are very good about training the family and the caregiver. I have to be certified to do Gary's care and have to learn ALOT of information about the predictable, probable and possible problems I will encounter when I bring him home. The highlight of the program was the wheelchair maintenance class. Good thing the last segment of the day was psychological and emotional issues!

Today so far was an amazing day, Gary had his first shower.

Those of you my age or older will remember those little hammocks you put in the sink to bathe your baby. Well, they have this giant one which we rolled into the huge shower room. One tech, one nurse and I all got a shower with Gary. It was actually kind of fun, but no one seemed to think I was so funny when I suggested the best way to get dry might be to run down the halls naked. Party Poopers!

Ok, that's all for now.

Hugs to all of you,

Judi

Out of ICU :)

Thurs, Oct 20

It is early am and I haven't seen Gary yet today. He did call me early and tell me he is feeling better and has eaten breakfast.

Gary was moved from ICU last evening at 10:30pm. We both consider this a good development. He is still uncomfortable but it appears the care he is receiving is moving him in the right direction. He should be receiving a temporary wheelchair today also and he is excited about that.

Yesterday should really be titled "The Never Ending Meeting Day". There is so much to absorb about the program he is enrolled in for both us.  We were having ANOTHER discussion with ANOTHER helpful person when the HELPFUL person had the following discussion with Gary.

HELPFUL PERSON: "You look so worried, why is that?" 

Gary: "I am always worried."

HELPFUL PERSON: "What are you most worried about today?"

Gary: "What this is all going to do to Jude."

(Yesterday's sweetest moment)

Anyway, here is an address for those of you wanting to send a card.

Gary Gammage

c/o Shepherd Center

2020 Peachtree Rd NW

Atlanta, GA

30309

I will try to keep updates coming. Again we both thank you for caring.

Judi

"A LOT better" :):)

Wednesday, October 19

We arrived safely in Alanta. Gary by ambulance and Judi by Gary's truck. The most stressful part of the trip was trying to park the behemoth (Gary's truck) in a parking spot.

Thanks to Wig (my BFF from jr hs) who talked me almost all of the way from Melrose to Alanta and actually got me to laugh. And to Ken and Cathy who talked me through the rest of the trip. With the snacks Danielle packed the trip flew by.

I will try to write more later, but this is a fine place and Gary is glad to be here.

I was speaking with Hali on the phone and said "Gary is feeling a little bit better" and he corrected me that he is " alot better". I consider that a good sign, he is beginning to differ with me again - hehe.

New angels: all the nurses and techs at Shepherds Center, Monica, Annika, Josh, Don, Robert, Cornelia. Thank you.

Hugs to all of you,

Judi

Gary with his buddy Trevor; Christmas 2010:)  He can't wait for Gary to come home!!!

Arrival in ATL!

On Tuesday, Gary arrived at Sheppard's House in Atlanta.  He had a long ride in an ambulance and was feeling very sick when he finally got there:(  The staff was attentively at his side trying to help and by bedtime he was feeling slightly better.

We will try to have an update up before the end of the week.  Judi is very busy with paperwork and getting Gary settled.  When I spoke with her she seemed to feel as though they had made the right decision.

Thanks again for your patience and support!!!

-Hali

Shepard's House

Tuesday, Oct 18

Today we are moving Gary to the Shepherd's Hospital in Atlanta .

We have heard wonderful things about this hospital which specializes in brain trauma and spinal cord injuries. The rehab facilities are varied with swimming pools, gymnasiums and state of the art technology.

We feel very fortunate that we were able to get Gary accepted and are hoping for the best rehab possible.

I will be driving there independently of the ICU ambulance, so I can have transportation.

As far as Gary's progress is concerned, he is still in a very weakened state. He is still having trouble breathing, has a fever which comes and goes, and his blood pressure is a bit irregular. On the bright side the digestion issues are a tiny bit improved. He is still not eating, and it has been almost 2 weeks. He feels pretty crappy and I am amazed by how little he complains. I can see in his eyes how miserable he is.

Todays list of angels include Danielle and Mike staying with Bax and me. They have taken care of the dogs, not only cooked and cleaned, but cooked weeks worth of meals for Bax!!! Gary has wanted to buy a laptop for years now and couldn't decide what to get, so Debbie ordered one for him and charged it to her own credit card! Bax is continuing to be the live-in handyman and emotional support for me. I am amazed at how Hali is able to go to school, do her job and do what she is doing for Gary and me. 

At the hospital so many nurses and Drs have helped us that they are too numerous to name. Valerie and Lourdes have spent the most time making Gary comfortable. Hedy and Angella made sure no stone was left unturned in getting Gary to Shepherds. Thank you to Wendy, Karen, Sharon, Tim, Matt, Kwame, Justin, Scott, Lauren, June, Ryan, Vikie, Barbie, Mareesha, Laura, Melissa, - my apologies to those of you whom I have left out. We are so grateful to all of these folks.

Once we are safely situated in Atlanta, I will hopefully be able to post Gary's address for those of you wanting to send a card.

This will probably be my last entry for a few days while Gary is getting settled.

Thank you all,

Judi

Progress

Sunday October 16

Gary seemed to be feeling physically better. His pain was mostly in one side and he seemed to be able to manage it with meds.The digestive issues are SLOWLY improving, but we have quite aways to go.

His breathing is improving and he is able to speak more clearly, though quite weakly.

Once again he was up in a wheelchair, but we didn't make it outside. Then back in bed via the "stork" machine.

Then a classic Gary moment:

He decided to begin doing some exercises on his own and began pulling himself up to a sit in bed and slowly lowering himself back down.

Awhile he later he added to this regimen a set of grabbing the side of the bed and rolling himself side to side.

I can't put in writing most of the comments he muttered about his lack of abs but the entire process seemed like significant progress to me.

We still have no final information on where we are going for rehab or when it will happen.

We are both so grateful to everyone who is keeping us in their prayers - and especially today thanks to all of our neighbors who are helping to watch our home and our 3 dogs. It takes great courage to face the terror of the house - 11 pound Peewee. Thanks to our brave neighbors Tommy, John and Susan.

Our friends Danielle and Mike came up from Tampa to stay a few days at the house and lend a hand, I don't know how I would make it without my friends. My son Bax is still with me attempting to keep up with some of the chores around the house. It is so good to have him here.

It is a bit difficult to see the silver lining of this at times, but the love that has been sent our way by everyone is overwhelming. I wish I had more powerful words than Thank you.

Judi

First ride in a wheel chair:)

Friday, Oct 15

Today we had some significant progress forward.
Gary was lifted into a wheelchair. He immediately told the nurse he did not need to be pushed but could do it on his own...and proceeded to wheel down the hall in ICU to the amazement of the nurses. Then we not only took a walk around the ICU but we went outside. Those of you who know Gary well can imagine how much he loved that. At one point he just looked up at the sky and said to me "Look at how beautiful that blue is".
Afterwards he was lifted back into bed by this amazing machine that was like a crane ....they wrapped him up in a sling type of contraption and the machine picked him up, moved him over the bed, hovered a moment and lowered him down. I told him he looked a little like Dumbo when the stork delivered him...he didn't think it was all that funny - but he did say "This is kinda fun."
He is still in pain and having trouble with his breathing and his digestive tract. Once again the medical staff assures me this is normal but nothing about this seems normal to me. It is hard to watch.
We are still unsure what and when rehab will be, but it appears that it may be as early as this coming week.
My son Bax, is now staying with me full time and picking up some of Gary's chores. I am so grateful to have him here, but of course NO ONE could accomplish as much in one week as Gary could in one day. Hali is back again and I am so glad to have them both with me at this time.
Gary and I are so grateful for all the cards letters and phone calls.
One thing that became clear to me in the last few days is that the vocabulary I use regularly is simply not adequate for this situation. I feel like I need different words to describe what is going on.
Thank you for your love and support.
Judi

Please understand

Hi Everyone!

I have received many emails, prayers, and questions.  Please, understand that they are appreciated!  I just do not have time to answer them all.  If you have an important question and you cannot wait, contact Judi via phone or email.  If you have kind words or prayers, leave them as a comment on the blog or send a card to either Judi or Gary.  We appreciate your support and love!

Gary is a little bit better today.  My mom is planning to post an update tomorrow.

-Hali

A little better

Thursday, Oct. 13, 2011

Today's progress report is a bit better.
Gary seems stronger and more awake and interested in life swirling around him. He has even begun reading "Get Well" cards that people have sent. Thank you all!!!!
Gary is still in Neuro ICU. He continues to be stoic and uncomplaining, suffering some very undignified procedures (to say the very least) and quite a bit of pain. He is so considerate and co-operative with all the medical personnel.
He is interested in his medical diagnosis and even amazed the nurses because he wanted to see his own Xrays. Then he began teaching the critical care nurse how to read his chest Xrays and she was grateful for his help.
The nurses at Shands have all been so caring and we are grateful to them.
At this point we think Gary will be moving to a rehab center as soon as possible - perhaps on Monday. I will post this info as soon as it becomes concrete.
I owe so many thanks to so many people for helping me get through this.
Hali's boyfriend Nathan retrieved Gary's truck, Hali's friends Travis and Erin drove from Jacksonville to our house to get the boat and the jetski safe and out of the water. They also brought yummy pasta. Gayle brought dinner and has taken care of our dogs. And my neighbors Tommy and Bonnie brought more scrumptious food.
Svetlana and Eileen visited me at the hospital and gave me a break from the ICU.
And now my son, Bax is staying with me to do errands and yard work.
Hali continues to be a rock of strength and love.

-Judi

Considering rehab

Tuesday Oct. 11 was a better day for Gary.
He was awake and alert significantly more of the day. He was actually talking with a little animation....and smiled at a few of my dumb jokes. He is still very uncomfortable.
The 2nd chest tube, draining fluid from his lung area was removed and he talked them into taking the nasal tube out, but the Dr told him it might have to be put back in.
Right now the more urgent concerns are:
His digestive tract is not operating on his own, so he is having no food or fluids other than intravenous. He is still having trouble breathing, but he is breathing on his own. Consequently his oxygen levels in his blood are low, so he is very weak.
There are other things but it is too hard to list them all right now as I am in a hurry to get going to see him. He is still in NeuroICU.
I am spending most of each day with him.
Yesterday and today we are having meetings with folks from various rehab centers to try and make decisions about where he will go for rehab...although it won't be for awhile
Randy and Susi drove up to the hospital from Orlando to "be there" for me...and the car broke at Shands parking lot, so they were towed back home last night at midnight - what great friends!!! Josh brought me lunch and told me some especially corny Josh jokes - it all helps.
Hali has been amazing, as you can all see, and my sis-in-law Les has manned the home front for days now. I don't know what I would have done without them.
Thank you all for your support!

-Judi

One Tube Out

Hi everybody!

Today, Gary is feeling slightly better(relatively speaking), and has had one tube removed(he has a lot left).  My mom will post a more descriptive update soon.

-Hali

After Surgery

Hello to all of our dear friends and loved ones.

 

Many thanks to those of you who have responded to our very sad news about Gary's accident. I am so grateful to you for your support. Thanks to all of you for keeping Gary in your prayers.

Right now my main objective in life is to "be there" for Gary so it is increasingly difficult for me to touch base with all of you.  I am spending quite a bit of time in the ICU so I am going to hand over communications to my wonderful daughter, Hali. She will be trying to keep updates coming the best she/we can.

 

It is now Sunday morning, Oct 9.  Without the medical jargon (those of you who know me know I will totally butcher it - I am so sorry to you medical friends). I will try to explain what has happened thus far. Gary and I are both so grateful to all the wonderful folks who are in this battle with us. It is clear that there are angels among us.

 

Surgery was on Thurs, Oct 6. It took over 6 hours as 2 teams of surgeons tried to repair 2 crushed vertebraes - T6 and T7. They took a rib and some other types of material and rebuilt a "cage" and fused the spine together from T5-T8.  All reports currently indicate that the surgery itself was successful and will serve to to stabilize his spine. The hope is that eventually he will be able to sit in a wheelchair. The reports from everyone are that the spinal cord was crushed and at this stage it appears the paralysis is permanent. Of course there is always hope, but Gary and I both feel we need to accept this as a new reality and begin to move forward without unrealistic expectations.

 

He is now in the NeuroSurgical Intensive Care Unit at Shands - Gainesville. He will be there for at least a few days while he recovers from the procedure and they get him strong enough to move to a "regular" neuro floor. Then he will probably be there for awhile before moving to an inpatient rehab center. We don't know where this will be, but right now Gary wants to stay in Gainesville. There are currently no guesses as to the timeline.

 

Although I realize many folks will be concerned about whether or not he will walk, this is the least of our worries at this point. In other words it isn't just his legs that are affected, it is everything from the nipples down. Just recovering from the complex surgery is a challenging task. He cannot feel anything from his nipples down and he is in quite a bit of pain and discomfort from there up.

 

His spirits are OK, given the circumstances. His nurses feel he is doing much better than most people in his situation. He is grateful and polite to to all of them and theythink he is so sweet. He is strong and trying to remain positive. Although he did tell me "I don't want alot of your fake bubbly attitude." Classic Gary/Judi interaction.

 

I am so grateful he is still alive. While I realize so many of you want to do something to help, right now there isn't much I can think of except prayers. I am certain that down the road Gary and I will need alot of help, what exactly that means is as yet unclear. I will try not to be too proud to ask.

 

I will ask one thing of you now. Gary REALLY doesn't want visitors or phone calls. He is in pain and discomfort and he is exhausted. Please honor this request for now. Those of you who know him well know how shy and stubborn he can be so I expect this need for privacy will last awhile. Please do not take it personally. I will let you know if this changes.  

 

I feel blessed to have so many caring folks in my life. Thank you all,

 

Disco Judi

The Accident

As many of you already know, Gary was involved in a horrific kiteboarding accident that unfortunately left him paralyzed from the ribcage down.   The accident took place on October 5, 2011, at Matanzas Inlet, South of Crescent Beach, Florida.  I am not an eyewitness to the event and have not spoken with Gary so I do not feel comfortable relaying details.  

I am attempting to come up with some words to describe the sadness of this event and none do it justice.  At this point we are taking one day at a time.  My mother and I appreciate all of your kind words and offers to help.

-Hali