Sunday, October 30

So sorry I haven't been posting for the last few days. It has been a busy time. Also to be quite honest, I have had a bit of trouble figuring out what to say.

I am in Atlanta with Gary. He has been quite discouraged which has made it difficult for me to know what to write. I couldn't find a way to put a positive spin on it. So here's the straight scoop:

Gary feels he is not making any forward progress and is so frustrated with the situation. Although it is quite like Gary to be unsatisfied without rapid progress in anything, this is a new low for any time in his life. Medically he is slowly but surely stabilizing. Obviously this is a good thing, but it is eclipsed by his anxiety about the lack of activity. Almost each time he gets up to do therapy something interferes and he gets placed back in bed. This last time he was in bed for almost 48 straight hours - needless to say he feels helpless.

Yesterday it got so bad that Gary was inventing ways to "break out" of this place, get to any "cheap hospital" where he would receive "terrible care" and hopefully be put out of his misery by dying. He told me I should rent a UHaul van with a ramp he could drive his wheelchair into the back. Then I was supposed to get bungie cords out of the back of his truck, strap him into place, and head for the nearest VA hospital. All of this was to be done covertly so the nurses wouldn't realize it was an escape. Do you believe it?

Ok, so the list of angels continues to grow.

Thanks to Phil and Linda who came over and helped Bax learn about the water treatment system at home. Thanks to our neighbors Hussein and Nargges who are trying to feed Bax while I am gone. To Bonnie who sent Gary a funny sign to show "well-intentioned clods" when he didn't want any company. And to Cynthia the wonderful patient care tech who once again braved the sling shower to give Gary a much needed cleaning. Although this time we were better prepared for the water park. We were the laughing stock of the hallway wearing plastic trash bags taped on with adhesive tape.

Thanks to Bax who is keeping the home fires burning and as always to Hali who volunteered to come up and help me make sure the medical staff was doing their job well enough. ("Someone has got to stay on top of them and let's face it, Mom you don't like confrontation").

And lastly thanks to South Dakota Shell who is sending me a word for each day. Today's word is "laughter".

Each of you who have sent cards have really helped, and all the prayers are wonderful. We even received a nice letter from a church in TN letting us know they are praying for us. I guess the best thing that has come from this so far is to be the recipients of so much love. Thank you all from both of us,

Judi and Gary