Out of surgery

Saturday, Nov 5

Gary came through yesterday's surgery with no major problems. The surgeon feels he will be much better having had this procedure and she was happy with the the results. Of course they are watching him carefully to make sure there are no complications. Gary was up and about today in his wheelchair and very happy to do his physical therapy this morning (less than 24 hours post surgery). The therapists feel he works hard and are always complimentary of his efforts when he gets to do it. It is too early to tell how quickly he will be making progress toward his goals of independence. I know he will give it everything he has. If anyone can triumph over the continued obstacles, Gary will. It has never been more clear to me how much I love this man. I am glad to be with him in this struggle.

There is a wheelchair basketball tournament going on all weekend at the Shepherd Center Gym, so we watched a game this am and are looking forward to watching another game this afternoon. The athletes are in terrific shape and they play really hard. Most of the athletes are men, but there is one team all women and a few co-ed teams. Gary and I both enjoyed watching the balance of intensity and good sportsmanship.

Another beautiful bouquet of flowers arrived from Gary's business partners today. We are both grateful to Gayle for making sure we had photos of Gary's best friend Trevor....and our 2 other dogs, PeeWee and Lucky. And a big thanks to Tom "I'm retired and retarded" Mullins and Mr. Norton for taking our garbage to the dump. Mr Norton was 99 years old last week and very proud of a letter wishing him a Happy Birthday from President Obama.

FYI - One of the patients here at Shepherd will be on national TV tonight. Gary watched them filming it this week. The young man named Chico was a cheerleading advisor at LSU when his accident occurred. Chico will be featured in a segment prior to the LSU/Alabama football game tonight.

Our best to you all,

Judi and Gary 

Prepping for surgery

Thursday, Nov 3

Gary is sleeping peacefully which is pretty unusual so I sneaked off to the family lounge where the computers are located.

Gary is so worn out and discouraged. One of our favorite nurses Myra says that he never complains and always tells her he is fine, but she knows better. Then she winked at me and said "Gary is one of my most favorite patients ever". He is counting the minutes until the Friday, Nov 4 -  2:00pm - surgery is over. Today begins the getting ready for surgery process. This includes a liquid diet and clearing out the intestinal tract. Part of him is dreading it and the other part can't wait to get it over with. I agree. Of course this is understandable. We are hoping he is able to bounce back better after this surgery than the last one.

Here is my lame joke for today:

Those of you who know Gary and me as a couple know that the old saying "opposites attract" is a pretty good description of our relationship. We have joked many times about the fact that Gary sees life as the "glass half empty" and I see it as the "glass half full".

Gary was so down that he called himself "Mr Half Dead"....I thought a moment and said "I'd prefer to call you Mr Half Alive". Even Gary had to laugh.

Birthday Angels:

So many cards that I can't list them all, but thank you.

A special thanks to Gary's partners - Kathy, Dave, Mark and Andrezs - for a Beautiful Vase of flowers. Also to my brother Bill and his wife Carol for the cutest little IPOD I have ever seen. Maybe I can find a toddler to show me how to use it.

Please keep Gary in your prayers tomorrow for surgery.

Good news and bad news

Wednesday, November 2

Today is Gary's birthday. I have good news and bad news.
Both the good and bad are: Gary is having surgery. It is scheduled for this Friday.

I will spare you all the details as they are not pretty, but he will have surgery to his intestinal tract. He has been experiencing quite a bit of trouble in this area for the last 2 weeks. This has been keeping him from getting up in his wheelchair and working at therapy. He is so frustrated and discouraged. Everyone here has been very positive that this surgery will help, so we are hoping they are correct. He is very anxious to get the surgery moving along.

In the meantime my angels:
A huge THANK YOU to Kathy, Gary's business partner who has been taking care of all the masses of paperwork and substitutes and everything that Gary is not able to do regarding his work right now!!! Gary's comment to this was "as always". She is a whirlwind. Also to everyone at the Orthopedic Surgery Center where Gary has been working for the gigantic Happy Birthday GG sign. After a few scary moments I finally got it hanging up where he can see it. (The PTs were scared not me).
And a big thanks to my friend Jan who took me out for some "retail therapy" and more than a few good laughs!

One more note, Gary is still not interested in reading email, so those of you asking for his address, sorry. Please don't take it personally.

Later today we will have cupcakes and ice cream - if Gary can eat. I am sure SOMEONE will eat them. Of course I can probably do it by myself if I have to!

Hugs,

Judi

Happy Halloween!!!

Monday, Oct 31

Happy Halloween.  There is an amazing amount of Halloween cheer here at the rehab hospital. Patients' faces are painted, the therapy room is now a haunted house, and all the staff is dressed for the occasion. Quite fun. One patient has quite a diabolical sense of humor. He was being pushed around in a stretcher bed, dressed as Michael Jackson, accompanied by a black man in an MD coat ....there was actually a flat line beeping noise going on - OUCH! Everyone here says you really need a sense of humor to get through this period of rehab.

Gary is up and about today in his wheelchair and as of 11am nothing had interfered with his therapy schedule - Hooray!!! He was happy and motivated by this. We also had a meeting with Gary's attending physician. His name is Dr Lin and he has a similar injury to Gary. He has been in a wheelchair for many years and can really relate to his patients. Gary always enjoys speaking with him as they can speak Dr to Dr. Dr Lin did confirm that the trauma to Gary's spinal cord did so much damage that it is not realistic to expect any use of his legs in the future. He showed Gary all kinds of "radiographs" of the injury. Gary has understood all along what it all means and is trying to stay realistic with his expectations.

OOOPS, I left Jackie off the list of generous folks who gave us the laptop, thank you Jackie!

Hugs to you all,

Judi and Gary

Sunday, October 30

So sorry I haven't been posting for the last few days. It has been a busy time. Also to be quite honest, I have had a bit of trouble figuring out what to say.

I am in Atlanta with Gary. He has been quite discouraged which has made it difficult for me to know what to write. I couldn't find a way to put a positive spin on it. So here's the straight scoop:

Gary feels he is not making any forward progress and is so frustrated with the situation. Although it is quite like Gary to be unsatisfied without rapid progress in anything, this is a new low for any time in his life. Medically he is slowly but surely stabilizing. Obviously this is a good thing, but it is eclipsed by his anxiety about the lack of activity. Almost each time he gets up to do therapy something interferes and he gets placed back in bed. This last time he was in bed for almost 48 straight hours - needless to say he feels helpless.

Yesterday it got so bad that Gary was inventing ways to "break out" of this place, get to any "cheap hospital" where he would receive "terrible care" and hopefully be put out of his misery by dying. He told me I should rent a UHaul van with a ramp he could drive his wheelchair into the back. Then I was supposed to get bungie cords out of the back of his truck, strap him into place, and head for the nearest VA hospital. All of this was to be done covertly so the nurses wouldn't realize it was an escape. Do you believe it?

Ok, so the list of angels continues to grow.

Thanks to Phil and Linda who came over and helped Bax learn about the water treatment system at home. Thanks to our neighbors Hussein and Nargges who are trying to feed Bax while I am gone. To Bonnie who sent Gary a funny sign to show "well-intentioned clods" when he didn't want any company. And to Cynthia the wonderful patient care tech who once again braved the sling shower to give Gary a much needed cleaning. Although this time we were better prepared for the water park. We were the laughing stock of the hallway wearing plastic trash bags taped on with adhesive tape.

Thanks to Bax who is keeping the home fires burning and as always to Hali who volunteered to come up and help me make sure the medical staff was doing their job well enough. ("Someone has got to stay on top of them and let's face it, Mom you don't like confrontation").

And lastly thanks to South Dakota Shell who is sending me a word for each day. Today's word is "laughter".

Each of you who have sent cards have really helped, and all the prayers are wonderful. We even received a nice letter from a church in TN letting us know they are praying for us. I guess the best thing that has come from this so far is to be the recipients of so much love. Thank you all from both of us,

Judi and Gary

Dancing Angels

Thursday, Oct 27

This post is not really about Gary. It is about the unbelievable love of friends.

Several weeks ago I posted that a friend (Deb) had ordered a new laptop for Gary because we couldn't figure out what kind to get....and she charged it to her credit card. Well yesterday I took my checkbook to meet with Deb to pick up the laptop. She delivered it with all the trimmings, in a brand new case and told me that it was a gift from our friends at the dance studio. I wasn't allowed to pay for it. All I could do was cry (truly I am quite alot like a faucet lately). When I told Gary about it he had the exact same reaction was I had. We are both so grateful to those folks who are helping him through with their love and support.

Anyway, a huge thank you to the dancing angels:

Bob and Shaq, David, Chris, Mettin, Arlene, Nelson, Harriet and Neilson, Maria, Angie, Eileen and Ray, Bonnie, Ken and Cathy, Gary J., Jim J., Marilyn, Kelli, Debbie, Dan and Margo, Brenna.

I know once we get this cute little job up and running Gary will be thrilled. (Of course we will probably need the help of a 6 or 7 year old to do so.)

Hugs to you all,

Judi

Therapy

Wed, Oct 26

Gary is doing a bit better. His breathing is getting stronger, he is more able to clear his throat and the feverish stuff is subsiding.

He has begun therapy, both Occupational and Physical. These activities have improved his spirits as he now has something to work at and look forward to each day. 

He also got a haircut last night and was very happy about that.

For those of you asking about his psychological condition...well, that's a tough question to answer. Right now is a very difficult time. Neither one of us knows exactly what we are in for. It's always hard to face the unknown, isn't it? Just getting through each day without feeling hopeless is a triumph, so in that regard he is doing a great job. He is so strong. Whenever I ask "How are you doing?" the answer is always "Fine".

Each time I refrain from saying "Liar, liar, pants on fire" is an accomplishment for me.

Here is a story that is so sweet I feel like my fingers will hurt when I type it:

My 89 year old father is recovering from several different cancers and still undergoing chemo. When we told him about Gary's accident he sped immediately to Gary's bedside.

Gary wasn't seeing anyone, but he allowed Dad in. Dad said he just wanted to say ONE THING.

Gary: "I love you, Bill. Who would have thought you would live longer than me?"

Bill (Dad): "I love you like my own son and I came to see if I can trade places with you."

OK, here are some angels; Gayle for care packages, Ann and Stosh for fruit basket, Jan for doing investigative legwork, Santa Tommy and "Little John" for getting the bird's nest out of the garage door opener and fixing that problem. A huge thanks to Gary's brother Randy for filling in for me and doing some "guy" stuff with Gary.

Please - if you helped us and I forgot, I am so sorry. There have been so many angels, thank you all.

One more note. I have found that I am progressing along some kind of journey. My most recent revelation is that I am trying to figure out the part about humor.

At first I couldn't laugh.

Then I thought I shouldn't laugh.

Now I feel I need to laugh.

I pray that no one thinks I am treating any part of this lightly as I share my silliness while I try to cope. Thank you for your understanding.

Judi