Man's best friend

Thursday, Feb 8   As we settle into life back at home there are ups and downs. It is hard to summarize all of it. Gary is getting competently along inside the home. He continues to try to do everything possible for himself, but gets frustrated at how much time it takes. His general health seems Ok but there are lots of days he just doesn't feel well. His leg spasms are getting worse so we are hoping for more meds to help that out. Also a new apparatus arrived and was put together yesterday. It is called a standing frame and it has a hydraulic lift to raise Gary and hold him in a standing position. When used regularly it should help the leg spasms. These spasms are painful, not to mention disruptive. They are so strong that they can jerk Gary's body into precarious positions. We have heard stories of folks being thrown out of their wheelchairs - thankfully this has not happened to Gary (yet). Unfortunately we have not been able to get Gary outside very often. Our house is on bumpy, unlevel ground and the driveway is gravel. The wheelchair is not able to negotiate the terrain. We will eventually figure out some solutions to this but right now the only way to get him out is to drag him over the bumps....Bax is able to do this, but I am not strong enough. Our friends Randy and Susie visited and insisted he go all over the property. They took him as Gary would say "over Hell's half acre". It was great to see friends and they really helped Gary feel better!!! Bax has been terrific trying to do the yard maintenance, but NO ONE could follow in Gary's shoes as far as that goes. This is discourging to Gary and he keeps saying that we need to move because it is too much work.   Anyway I'll finish with a typical Gary story. When we discharged from the Tampa VA two very efficient nurse types came in with a computer to do the final interview. They asked Gary lots of questions carefuly noting each answer in their computer...Questions like "Do you know which medicines to take?" "Have you been warned how to prevent bedsores?" Then they get to "Who will be your primary caregiver?" He answers "My wife, Judi." Next question - "Is there someone else you can count on to help you in an emergency?" Gary says "Trevor"....and they question the spelling and carefully type in T-R-E-V-O-R. Nurse - "Who is Trevor?"  Gary - "My best friend" Nurses - "Where does Trevor live?" Gary - "He lives in the house with us". Nurses - "Can you get hold of him easily?" Gary - "Yes, I just call him." On they go with the rest of the questions....never realizing Trevor is the dog.   We do miss our friends and I hope that soon Gary will be ready to see them.    Thank you for caring, Judi and Gary 

Starting to renovate

Monday, January 30   I haven't written lately as there really hasn't been much new news. Actually there isn't much new today either so you can skip reading this.   Gary is continuing to try to adjust to his new life at home. Unfortunately he got sick after being home for about a week - I swear it wasn't my cooking. He claimed it was a really "weird" experience. He can't feel anything from the chest down so all the signs in the midsection that might accompany illness were not there; i.e. pain, cramping, etc. Although this may sound like a blessing it actually serves to mask any helpful hints to Gary or health care folks as to what is wrong. There are so many things about this paralysis that neither Gary nor I imagined which can be confusing and overwhelming.  After a visit to the VA in Gainesville and some antibiotics Gary is beginning to feel better. Whew.   Daily activities such as dressing and bathing still take up quite a bit of time but we managed to enjoy a new adventure...we went to the movies with my dad and his wife. It was fun for Gary to get out of the house and we even got there in time! Gary was so hapy he didn't run over or back into anyone in the darkened theater. We laughed our way through "One for the Money" and it was wonderful to see Gary laugh! (I love the Stephanie Plum novels on which this movie is based - probably because I can relate to her as she sort of incompetently and hilariously stumbles her way along.)   We are still quite preoccupied with modifications to the house to make things easier for Gary. One thing we don't have to worry about is the floor in his room. Our good friend Jay Tucker came out twice to our house and with his brother Will put new flooring down for us. They run a business doing this (and recently have added other handyman services to their repertoire). They did a wonderful job, so professional, competent and quick. These two unbelievable friends then would not let us pay them, no matter how hard I tried. "This is a gift" was all they would say. We are so blessed, and now Gary can freely wheel about, practicing his wheelies in his room - thank you Tucker Brothers!!!   I hope everyone who is reading this - both of you - are well and happy. Judi and Gary

Monday, January 30   I haven't written lately as there really hasn't been much new news. Actually there isn't much new today either so you can skip reading this.   Gary is continuing to try to adjust to his new life at home. Unfortunately he got sick after being home for about a week - I swear it wasn't my cooking. He claimed it was a really "weird" experience. He can't feel anything from the chest down so all the signs in the midsection that might accompany illness were not there; i.e. pain, cramping, etc. Although this may sound like a blessing it actually serves to mask any helpful hints to Gary or health care folks as to what is wrong. There are so many things about this paralysis that neither Gary nor I imagined which can be confusing and overwhelming.  After a visit to the VA in Gainesville and some antibiotics Gary is beginning to feel better. Whew.   Daily activities such as dressing and bathing still take up quite a bit of time but we managed to enjoy a new adventure...we went to the movies with my dad and his wife. It was fun for Gary to get out of the house and we even got there in time! Gary was so hapy he didn't run over or back into anyone in the darkened theater. We laughed our way through "One for the Money" and it was wonderful to see Gary laugh! (I love the Stephanie Plum novels on which this movie is based - probably because I can relate to her as she sort of incompetently and hilariously stumbles her way along.)   We are still quite preoccupied with modifications to the house to make things easier for Gary. One thing we don't have to worry about is the floor in his room. Our good friend Jay Tucker came out twice to our house and with his brother Will put new flooring down for us. They run a business doing this (and recently have added other handyman services to their repertoire). They did a wonderful job, so professional, competent and quick. These two unbelievable friends then would not let us pay them, no matter how hard I tried. "This is a gift" was all they would say. We are so blessed, and now Gary can freely wheel about, practicing his wheelies in his room - thank you Tucker Brothers!!!   I hope everyone who is reading this - both of you - are well and happy. Judi and Gary

Starting to renovate

Monday, January 30   I haven't written lately as there really hasn't been much new news. Actually there isn't much new today either so you can skip reading this.   Gary is continuing to try to adjust to his new life at home. Unfortunately he got sick after being home for about a week - I swear it wasn't my cooking. He claimed it was a really "weird" experience. He can't feel anything from the chest down so all the signs in the midsection that might accompany illness were not there; i.e. pain, cramping, etc. Although this may sound like a blessing it actually serves to mask any helpful hints to Gary or health care folks as to what is wrong. There are so many things about this paralysis that neither Gary nor I imagined which can be confusing and overwhelming.  After a visit to the VA in Gainesville and some antibiotics Gary is beginning to feel better. Whew.   Daily activities such as dressing and bathing still take up quite a bit of time but we managed to enjoy a new adventure...we went to the movies with my dad and his wife. It was fun for Gary to get out of the house and we even got there in time! Gary was so hapy he didn't run over or back into anyone in the darkened theater. We laughed our way through "One for the Money" and it was wonderful to see Gary laugh! (I love the Stephanie Plum novels on which this movie is based - probably because I can relate to her as she sort of incompetently and hilariously stumbles her way along.)   We are still quite preoccupied with modifications to the house to make things easier for Gary. One thing we don't have to worry about is the floor in his room. Our good friend Jay Tucker came out twice to our house and with his brother Will put new flooring down for us. They run a business doing this (and recently have added other handyman services to their repertoire). They did a wonderful job, so professional, competent and quick. These two unbelievable friends then would not let us pay them, no matter how hard I tried. "This is a gift" was all they would say. We are so blessed, and now Gary can freely wheel about, practicing his wheelies in his room - thank you Tucker Brothers!!!   I hope everyone who is reading this - both of you - are well and happy. Judi and Gary

Settling in...

Friday, Jan 20,   Well, we have now been home for one week and things seem to be settling down a bit.   Quite often I use this Blob to thank people who have gone out of their way to help us, but this time I am going to talk only about Gary. I will still have thank you's to more angels at another date.   Gary is an amazing person. He has been so strong throughout this entire process. He continues to do as much as possible for himself while trying not to ask for help unless it is absolutely necessary. I am constantly impressed by his determination. Sometimes it will take him over an hour to get dressed, but he will not "bother" me and he will keep working at it until he gets it done. His pain level seems to be a little worse lately, but he doesn't complain and if I show him any sympathy he just shrugs his shoulders and says "That's the way it goes." He can now get in and out of the shower by himself and that is wonderful. He has always been such a clean person and 2 showers /week in the hospitals just wasn't working for him. Sometimes it takes almost 2 hours...but he is squeaky-clean!!!   Gary has his own room downstairs now and he spent lots of time organizing his clothes (on the shelves I hung in the closet!!! DYI Judi) so that he can be self-sufficient. Also he has alot of medical supplies so we have reorganized the bathroom across the hall from his bedroom.  All of his supplies are within his reach, so he can go solo. I actually liketo help him, but it makes him feel better to be independent. At times it is hard NOT to help, so I have to remind myself to stay out of his way and let him try things.   At Shepherd Center they told us that life would be "lower and slower". From our experience that is so true. "Slower" of course means everything does take longer- an adjustment for both of us. "Lower" means that alot of our house no longer is accessible to Gary. Much is out of reach, so we are making changes so he can reach things, WOW!!!! Who knew?   It is difficult for me to explain how much admiration I have for Gary's attitude. He continues to try and make the best of things. He is very patient when things aren't going his way. Believe me some of the things I have seen him struggle with have brought tears to my eyes as I watch....like taking almost 30 minutes to get his shoes on. He doesn't scream (or even swear) and throw the shoes like I would have, he just keeps working at it. Remembering how independent he always was I guess I shouldn't be surprised . However watching him struggle is hard. I have told many people that sometimes I think he is handling all this better than I am!!   I hope you all are well and that we will begin to see our friends soon,   Judi and Gary 

Home Sweet Home!!!!!

Sunday, January 15, 2012   WE ARE HOME!!!!!   After months of being away - Gainesville, Atlanta, Tampa - Gary was discharged from the VA hospital in Tampa....on Friday the 13th and sent home. Given my run of luck we didn't relax and feel really safe at home until THAT DATE was over. BUT we are here safe and sound and beginning to settle in. I can't explain Gary's joy at being in his own home. He is thrilled. We are making some modifications to the house as quickly as possible so that Gary can efficiently move around and accomplish Activities of Daily Life - ADL for short.   The list of Angels is GIGANTIC in this blob! We are so blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful people.   Our good friend Jay came over to help and will be laying a new bedroom floor for Gary on the first floor. While he was here Jay kept finding "little" thing to do to help us out, what a champ! Nate, Hali's significant other has been helping while we were away and had some of his "guys/friends" build a ramp, level out thresholds and enlarge doorways for the wheelchair. What a great job they did...we are ever so grateful to them all!     Anyway, I owe a HUMONGOUS thank you to Josh for putting on a fundraiser for Gary and me last Saturday evening. The dance was a terrific success. Words cannot express how wonderful it was to see so many friends willing to give of themselves to help us. Again it is hard to put into words how deeply we are touched. I was grateful to EVERYONE who showed up or sent donations, but a special thanks goes to: Josh for doing so much great work, getting the word out...and doing his usual blend of funky, interesting and talented publicity!! Sabrina who hasn't had a day off in months for taking the time to drive most of the way cross the state and share her love for and knowledge of dance with us. She is a very giving and special friend! Thanks to the GREAT DJs for donating their time - Earl and Bruce who both drove in from Jacksonville. I love dancing with both men! Their music was terrific!  Usually I don't get to dance much with Earl - because he is always busy with the music, but when I do he is so much fun...and Bruce and I have always have a great time! We have danced together for years and it feels like a new experience each time.Thank you both. I am also grateful to Chad for sharing his sound system and the great dances. And I forgot to mention that Chad came to our house TWICE! to install wireless internet - what a good friend. We are thankful that Sweetheart Swing organizers Sandy Chase and Phil Dorroll donated a free pass to that event, how thoughtful! we are grateful to the generous pros who donated private lessons to the raffle; Stephen White, Demery Strickland, Patti Jobst, Danielle Blouin and Sabrina Paxmann!! WOW!  And last but certainly not least Thank you to all the people who came and supported us. The event raised over $3000 for us, what a gift! We are still not totally sure what we will do - Gary has his eye on 2 different types of vehicles - a road chair (sort of like a manual ATV - if you can picture that) to cruise around the yard...or an exercise bike that cranks with hand pedals. Both options are possible and Gary is excited about both...so thank you to everyone who participated on our behalf. What a gift your friendship has been.   Anyway, as our life begins to return to a more normal pace we hope that we will be able to see all of our friends. Thank you all so much for hanging in there with us.   Judi and Gary

Happy New Year!!!

Happy New Year!

So sorry this is the first Blob entry in awhile. We have been quite busy ...as I am sure you all have been also.

We moved Gary to the Veteran's Hospital in Tampa right before Christmas Day. He seems to be doing well there and has basically told me to go home and leave him alone for awhile. (He means that in a good way.... He needs to concentrate on rehab and I have to catch up on stuff at home.)

Anyway, here is some great news: Gary came home for a visit and spent New Year's weekend at home - even though both of us were snoring and drooling well before midnight on New Year's Eve. It was wonderful to see him with the dogs. They all slept in bed with him his first night back!! We found that our home will accomodate his wheelchair without HUGE modifications. That was a relief to both of us. The VA will also help him financially so that is another bit of good news.

Gary is feeling better. He still has the neuropathic pain across his chest which will likely not go away because those nerves have been severely damaged. Most of the other medical complications are improving. New to the list of problems are leg spasms.  Apparently these are common with this type of injury, but they are unpredictable and can be powerful. The result of these are that sometimes he can't get his legs to go where he wants them to and sometimes they go on their own where he doesn't want them to.  (Kind of like me following Gary while dancing 2Step.)

Gary is becoming more independent at many activities. He is continuing to improve at dressing himself, showering and transferring himself in and out of his wheelchair. He wanted to try and get on the lawnmower when he was home, but the hardest part of our home is negotiating the yard and he couldn't get to the lawnmower. We will probably have to make some concrete paths around the entire place eventually.

In Gary's words the home visit was "bittersweet". He was so happy to be home, but it reminded him of what he is no longer able to do. Everywhere there are reminders of his active lifestyle. Consequently I will probably be selling the sailboat, windsurfing equipment and the kiteboarding CRAP...which I can't even look at without some cringing spasms of my own. Along those lines, Gary has asked me to take his dance shoes and boots to a dance this weekend. The dance is a fundraiser that Josh Angel and Sabrina Paxmann are so kindly hosting on Gary's behalf Saturday, January 7. Gary wants me to give his shoes away to anyone who wants them. I think most of them are size 9 - 10. I will be at the dance, but Gary will not.

Anyway, Happy New Year to you all.  Very selfishly I am hoping that 2012 will be a better one than 2011 for my loved ones and me!

Ongoing Treatment in Tampa

Dec 26

Well it is about time I finally wrote in this "Blob" as I mistakenly once typed it to Hali. With all of the confidence that kids these days think their parents know about texting, blogging, Facebook, etc. Hali actually thought that I really thought that was what it is called. So since then I have called this the Blob.

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a good holiday season. Gary and I have been so busy as I am sure you all are.

Here is what is going on now:

We packed up and left the Shepherd Center after several months of wonderful experiences there on Wednesday, Dec. 21 and drove to Tampa. The highlights of this trip were Gary getting in and out of the car with minimal help from me and me dismantling and "mantling?" the wheelchair to get it in and out of the car. I can't say it was smoothly done but we got to Tampa by ourselves!!! I have to say that I was much closer to a parking lot faceplant or meltdown than Gary was.

We checked into the Tampa VA on Thurs Dec 22 and Gary has been very pleased with the care he has gotten.

Eventually we should move into "self care" where he will stay outside of the hospital and I will be there with him. In the meantime, I have been able to stay with my good friends Danielle and Mike (and Brandi) in Tampa. Danielle and I had alot of good laughs...and a few good crys which was cathartic for me.

My dad and his wife Dorothy visited and were very pleased with how Gary looked and Gary was pleased with how my dad looked. Both men are getting stronger all the time (Dad having survived 3 different types of cancer at 89 was on his way to a Christmas cruise). 

Gary is becoming more independent and his spirits are still positive. Gary sent me home to spend time with the family...I hated to leave him but I know he is trying to watch out for my feelings and my stamina as well. Why else would he call me from the VA cafeteria (where he was having lunch with Santa Claus) to quote a statistic that spouses of paraplegics usually only stick it out for 2-3 years? (Wimpy, wimpy, wimpy.)

Then on Christmas Day Gary was visited by our good friends Randy and Susi. That was wonderful for him!

We believe that Gary will be at the VA for several months for continuing therapy and follow up. Alot of what they plan to do with him will take time to develop strength and skill. However it appears that I will be able to bring him home once in awhile for a visit. The rehab schedule seems to be quite aggressive. Alot of the patients in the Spinal Cord program are young military - recently wounded in combat and they are highly motivated. Gary's therapist challenged him to try to keep up with the young guys. As they were explaining to him the opportunities for sports competition one younger vet told Gary he would be eligible for the "Golden Games" HAHA!!

Ok, that's enough for now. Both Gary and I send our best wishes to you all,

Judi and Gary

Move to Tampa

Friday, December 16 Hello Friends I have been quite busy lately, so I am sorry that I have not updated this in awhile. We have been on quite a rollercoaster ride during early Dec. Gary and I moved into housing next door to the Shepherd Center. He has been attending daily rehab sessions and he has learned quite alot. Gary LOVES this because he has continual challenges. Therapists even come over to our apartment and give him tips and pointers on how to do things more efficiently. Gary is getting in and out of his wheelchair by himself, has learned to shower and dress himself and now can get into and out of the car. He is also still learning to play guitar. BUT the only song he knows is "Happy Birthday Dorothy"...which he has been practicing for 3 weeks now. Dorothy's birthday was December 8!  When he graduated from the inpatient program they gave him an award "Most Likely to Direct his own Care". He said "I don't know if that was an award or an insult." Next week he will be moving to Tampa VA hospital as an inpatient...we don't know much more about that yet. I am so grateful to Gary's brother Randy who came to stay with Gary while I went to see Hali graduate from UNF. What a joy that was. I am so proud of her! I don't know how she worked, put herself through school and helped Gary and I like she did!!! What a woman! We were all sad that Gary couldn't be there, but he very generously paid for the party. What a guy! Unfortunately my mom Doris has been in Hospice in Dallas for almost a year. Mom passed away yesterday. Miraculously I made it here in time to say good bye to her and tell her how wonderful she was as a mom. I am so grateful for that. I am also grateful to my brother, sis in law, and niece for taking such great care of my mom for years. We will all miss her and especially right now her Christmas cookies. Those of you who knew her know that she was just about the nicest person in the world. She will make such a great angel! This is probably my Merry Christmakwanzakah note to you all...so Happy Holidays.  Judi and Gary

Making progress :)

Thursday, Dec 1

A lot has happened since I last wrote in this Blog. I'll try to be brief as I know the Holiday season is approaching and folks get busier each day!

Gary is making good progress in his physical therapy. He has earned to transfer in and out of his wheelchair...into and out of bed, into and out of the shower and is working on the car and sofa. The more he does all of these activities the better he will get. Gary is continuing to want to do everything for himself to become more independent. His daily activities are quite exhausting because he tries really hard to do as much as he can.  Of course lots of repetitions will help to build his strength.

Gary's general health seems to be improving as his body copes with all of the changes. The nurses and staff are wonderful at the Shepherd Center and he is so grateful for all of the help he has received.

We finally know what our next step is...and it is exactly what Gary was hoping for. 

Dec 5 Gary will be discharged from the hospital and move next door to the Shepherd Center "Day Program". This means both Gary and I will be living in an apartment - on our own. He will go to rehab during the day at the Shepherd Center and continue to make strides toward independence. Who knows what I will do? I may blog myself silly.

At some point - probably in the category of several weeks later - he will move to a VA hospital in Tampa. Long story, but since he is an Air Force veteran the US govt will help with medical expenses. First he has to get admitted to a VA hospital so we will need to take that step sometime in the future. After that the plan would be to come home, but there are no time estimates yet.

Several of you have asked about Gary's spirits.

I think he is doing very well considering everything he is coping with right now. One of the many blessings at the Shepherd Center is that there are many people in different circumstances. Of course there are people who are in better shape than Gary- younger, lesser injuries, temporary damage. However probably the more significant impact is made by those who are in worse shape than Gary with much greater challenges. Part of the comntinuing therapy is discussions among patients and during this time they share their stories. Gary is always moved by these people such as a young man who cried because he could never have children, another man who wanted desperately to hang Christmas lights for his children but won't be home in time, a pastor who has been in traction for over 3 months and hoped to get the screws out of his head out last week but didn't. Not to mention the folks who are on ventilators, have no use of their arms, or can't speak because of the level of their injury. Gary feels he has alot to be thankful for...and I am thankful he is still around.

We both are thankful for our family and friends.

Here is a list of just a few of our recent angels:

Hali and Nate came to visit Gary in Atlanta during their Thanksgiving holiday. Gwen sent special music and arranged a photo of Stephanie Abrams to be sent from the Weather Channel - Gary thinks she is great!!! Beautiful plants from Hussein and Nargges, and flowers from the Bastardi family.

An inspirational CD and letter from Jim. Gift cards from Maria and Joe, my brother and his wife and Gayle. Yummy pies from Jan. I am sure I am forgetting so many thoughtful people.  Please know that it is just a lack of organization my part. Thank you to everyone who is helping us through this challenge!!

Sorry I guess this wasn't so brief. OOOPS!

Judi

More angels

My angels list is so long!!!

My father Bill, his wife Dorothy, my brother Bill and his wife Carol came to our house for a week. During this time they all acted like they were indentured servants. They did all the normal cooking and cleaning as well as painting furniture, washing windows, screens and cars, organizing paperwork and sheds, pruning, weeding....you name - it they did it!!! Hali and Bax chipped in and the only time anyone stopped working was to give me a bridal shower and celebrate my dad's 89th birthday!!! I am so grateful to them all for such love.

I'll list the "angel friends" later....

-Judi

Hello and a belated Happy Thanksgiving!

It is Sunday afternoon. Gary and I just attended a church service here at the Shepherd Center. Each Sunday is a little bit different with various pastors and even current and former patients participating. We enjoy the variety of services.  

Gary had had some ups and downs in the last week. Mostly ups!!! He has been working hard on transferring from his wheelchair to bed, to a shower seat, and even in and out of a car. When he got in the car we didn't go anywhere but we practiced for the future. I passed my training to get a "push pass" which means I am allowed to take him out of the hospital - to any distance I could push him. Unfortunately, so far we haven't gone anywhere because he has a urinary tract infection, and hasn't been feeling very well. I am sure this will pass as today is better than yesterday which was better than the day before.

Sorry I haven't blogged too much lately, but I have been putting it off until I knew more about what the immediate future holds. This method isn't working any better than it did in college when I would put off writing my papers hoping that magically I would know more tomorrow.

Here is what I know so far:

Gary was given a discharge date of Dec 6.
The original plan was to transfer him to the "Day Stay program" here at SC. In this program we would both stay next door in an apartment (where I am staying when I am here). I would be responsible for all of his care and he would come over to SC during the day to continue his therapy. We hope this will be the case, but it isn't certain as they do not have space for him at the moment.

It was then planned that he would go to the VA hospital in Tampa...but he was turned down for that facility for various reasons....so now they are trying again to make space for him in the SC Day Stay program. We are just waiting TRYING to be patient. 

Anyway, I hope you have all had a good Thanksgiving with loved ones.

Judi and Gary

Gary's address

Hi everybody!  I wanted to make sure that you have Gary's address(in case you want to send a congratulations card for their wedding or other words of encouragement:))  Thank you for all of your support; it means so much to my mom and Gary!!!  I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday.

-Hali

Gary Gammage

Shepherd Center
2020 Peachtree St NW

Atlanta, GA

30309

Wedding Bells!!!!

Monday, Nov 14

So sorry I haven't blogged in awhile. I have been so busy.

I have been back and forth to Atlanta several times, my family is visiting from Dallas and North Carolina, and Gary and I got married!

Yes, you read it correctly.

On Friday, 11 11, 11 at 11:11 am we tied the knot. We really didn't plan it to be that time or date but NOTHING we have done lately has been all that planned by us.

My friend Jan planned the whole thing and she did an amazing job! I could go on and on about all the stuff Jan had to do to get it done. She sweet talked an armour-plated bureaucrat into figuring out how to get a marriage license without both parties appearing at the courthouse. ("We'll just do it the same way we treat criminals in custody".) Somehow she got a judge to come to the hospital on his day off and she provided cake, refreshments, a bouquet, helped me get a ring (now there's a story for another day), took photographs...and I am sure MUCH, MUCH more!!! I was in such a fog that I can't remember everything she did, but

Jan was amazing!

For once I was speechless during the whole ceremony. The most noteworthy comment was from one of our favorite nurses (Cynthia of the slingshowerplasticbag fame) said "Now there is a real love story!" And I cried some more.

Gary is doing better each day. He is up in his wheelchair and getting to therapy several times each day. His arms are not as strong as they used to be but he is determined to do everything he can. Right now he is working on being able to transfer in and out of his wheelchair. Sitting up alone still eludes him, made more difficult by a brace on his torso. The brace is to assure his spine receives extra support. Although the brace itself is uncomfortable, Gary is hopeful that it will help protect him until the spinal fusion/reconstruction/fractures heal. He will eventually get the brace off if all heals properly. Gary's spirits seem better as each hurdle is cleared, but he is still worried that something else will go wrong. Of course I am convinced that the worst is behind us.

Gary's schedule seems to be operating on a more regular basis now. Consequently I will be entering comments into the Blog less often. I plan on doing an update roughly every few days up to a week.

As always we are both grateful for your thoughts and prayers,

Judi and Gary

Finally, a good day.

Tuesday, Nov 8

Gary is having a good day today. He went to therapy this morning and he will go to more this afternoon. He is feeling stronger since the surgery and very motivated to do as much as he can. Of course nothing has been easy for him throughout this entire process and post-surgery is following the same course. They are continuing to watch him closely so nothing interferes with his healing. Today's concerns are the possible formation of blood clots in his legs and urinary tract complications. As he begins to feel better his fighting spirit is returning. I told the nursing staff it was great for Gary that he is beginning to act like his normal self, but bad for the staff because now he will be more like the old Gary - he'll be a pain in their butts. Those poor nurses won't be fast enough or get enough done or make quick enough decisions. He was already anxious because he wasn't early for his first therapy appointment.

Sunday he woke up and the first thing he said was "Since my right arm works pretty well but my left arm is weak, I think I am going to learn to play guitar." It is interesting to me how the smallest thing can now seem so significant. I am so grateful to hear Gary talking about the future with some enthusiasm in his voice!

The Shepherd Center offers a variety of classes to educate patients about their injuries. Gary went to one class yesterday and reported it was designed for those folks without a medical background but he said it helps to get him out and about. Reading between the lines that probably means he could have taught the class.

The angels for the last few days are: Hali, Carol and Jan for talking me home from Atlanta (and filling me in on Herman Cain, Joe Paterno and Jerry Sandusky - I know Joe and Jerry from when I worked at Penn St - EEEK! what a mess). Thanks to my neighbor Steve for showing me that the lawn mower wasn't broken, we just needed to use the choke. Special thanks to Jan for doing all kinds of stuff to help me when I am in Atlanta. And to Peter and Nancy for suggesting that I do this blog. It has helped me so much to keep up the communication.

Thanks to you all for caring about Gary!

Judi

Out of surgery

Saturday, Nov 5

Gary came through yesterday's surgery with no major problems. The surgeon feels he will be much better having had this procedure and she was happy with the the results. Of course they are watching him carefully to make sure there are no complications. Gary was up and about today in his wheelchair and very happy to do his physical therapy this morning (less than 24 hours post surgery). The therapists feel he works hard and are always complimentary of his efforts when he gets to do it. It is too early to tell how quickly he will be making progress toward his goals of independence. I know he will give it everything he has. If anyone can triumph over the continued obstacles, Gary will. It has never been more clear to me how much I love this man. I am glad to be with him in this struggle.

There is a wheelchair basketball tournament going on all weekend at the Shepherd Center Gym, so we watched a game this am and are looking forward to watching another game this afternoon. The athletes are in terrific shape and they play really hard. Most of the athletes are men, but there is one team all women and a few co-ed teams. Gary and I both enjoyed watching the balance of intensity and good sportsmanship.

Another beautiful bouquet of flowers arrived from Gary's business partners today. We are both grateful to Gayle for making sure we had photos of Gary's best friend Trevor....and our 2 other dogs, PeeWee and Lucky. And a big thanks to Tom "I'm retired and retarded" Mullins and Mr. Norton for taking our garbage to the dump. Mr Norton was 99 years old last week and very proud of a letter wishing him a Happy Birthday from President Obama.

FYI - One of the patients here at Shepherd will be on national TV tonight. Gary watched them filming it this week. The young man named Chico was a cheerleading advisor at LSU when his accident occurred. Chico will be featured in a segment prior to the LSU/Alabama football game tonight.

Our best to you all,

Judi and Gary 

Prepping for surgery

Thursday, Nov 3

Gary is sleeping peacefully which is pretty unusual so I sneaked off to the family lounge where the computers are located.

Gary is so worn out and discouraged. One of our favorite nurses Myra says that he never complains and always tells her he is fine, but she knows better. Then she winked at me and said "Gary is one of my most favorite patients ever". He is counting the minutes until the Friday, Nov 4 -  2:00pm - surgery is over. Today begins the getting ready for surgery process. This includes a liquid diet and clearing out the intestinal tract. Part of him is dreading it and the other part can't wait to get it over with. I agree. Of course this is understandable. We are hoping he is able to bounce back better after this surgery than the last one.

Here is my lame joke for today:

Those of you who know Gary and me as a couple know that the old saying "opposites attract" is a pretty good description of our relationship. We have joked many times about the fact that Gary sees life as the "glass half empty" and I see it as the "glass half full".

Gary was so down that he called himself "Mr Half Dead"....I thought a moment and said "I'd prefer to call you Mr Half Alive". Even Gary had to laugh.

Birthday Angels:

So many cards that I can't list them all, but thank you.

A special thanks to Gary's partners - Kathy, Dave, Mark and Andrezs - for a Beautiful Vase of flowers. Also to my brother Bill and his wife Carol for the cutest little IPOD I have ever seen. Maybe I can find a toddler to show me how to use it.

Please keep Gary in your prayers tomorrow for surgery.

Good news and bad news

Wednesday, November 2

Today is Gary's birthday. I have good news and bad news.
Both the good and bad are: Gary is having surgery. It is scheduled for this Friday.

I will spare you all the details as they are not pretty, but he will have surgery to his intestinal tract. He has been experiencing quite a bit of trouble in this area for the last 2 weeks. This has been keeping him from getting up in his wheelchair and working at therapy. He is so frustrated and discouraged. Everyone here has been very positive that this surgery will help, so we are hoping they are correct. He is very anxious to get the surgery moving along.

In the meantime my angels:
A huge THANK YOU to Kathy, Gary's business partner who has been taking care of all the masses of paperwork and substitutes and everything that Gary is not able to do regarding his work right now!!! Gary's comment to this was "as always". She is a whirlwind. Also to everyone at the Orthopedic Surgery Center where Gary has been working for the gigantic Happy Birthday GG sign. After a few scary moments I finally got it hanging up where he can see it. (The PTs were scared not me).
And a big thanks to my friend Jan who took me out for some "retail therapy" and more than a few good laughs!

One more note, Gary is still not interested in reading email, so those of you asking for his address, sorry. Please don't take it personally.

Later today we will have cupcakes and ice cream - if Gary can eat. I am sure SOMEONE will eat them. Of course I can probably do it by myself if I have to!

Hugs,

Judi

Happy Halloween!!!

Monday, Oct 31

Happy Halloween.  There is an amazing amount of Halloween cheer here at the rehab hospital. Patients' faces are painted, the therapy room is now a haunted house, and all the staff is dressed for the occasion. Quite fun. One patient has quite a diabolical sense of humor. He was being pushed around in a stretcher bed, dressed as Michael Jackson, accompanied by a black man in an MD coat ....there was actually a flat line beeping noise going on - OUCH! Everyone here says you really need a sense of humor to get through this period of rehab.

Gary is up and about today in his wheelchair and as of 11am nothing had interfered with his therapy schedule - Hooray!!! He was happy and motivated by this. We also had a meeting with Gary's attending physician. His name is Dr Lin and he has a similar injury to Gary. He has been in a wheelchair for many years and can really relate to his patients. Gary always enjoys speaking with him as they can speak Dr to Dr. Dr Lin did confirm that the trauma to Gary's spinal cord did so much damage that it is not realistic to expect any use of his legs in the future. He showed Gary all kinds of "radiographs" of the injury. Gary has understood all along what it all means and is trying to stay realistic with his expectations.

OOOPS, I left Jackie off the list of generous folks who gave us the laptop, thank you Jackie!

Hugs to you all,

Judi and Gary

Sunday, October 30

So sorry I haven't been posting for the last few days. It has been a busy time. Also to be quite honest, I have had a bit of trouble figuring out what to say.

I am in Atlanta with Gary. He has been quite discouraged which has made it difficult for me to know what to write. I couldn't find a way to put a positive spin on it. So here's the straight scoop:

Gary feels he is not making any forward progress and is so frustrated with the situation. Although it is quite like Gary to be unsatisfied without rapid progress in anything, this is a new low for any time in his life. Medically he is slowly but surely stabilizing. Obviously this is a good thing, but it is eclipsed by his anxiety about the lack of activity. Almost each time he gets up to do therapy something interferes and he gets placed back in bed. This last time he was in bed for almost 48 straight hours - needless to say he feels helpless.

Yesterday it got so bad that Gary was inventing ways to "break out" of this place, get to any "cheap hospital" where he would receive "terrible care" and hopefully be put out of his misery by dying. He told me I should rent a UHaul van with a ramp he could drive his wheelchair into the back. Then I was supposed to get bungie cords out of the back of his truck, strap him into place, and head for the nearest VA hospital. All of this was to be done covertly so the nurses wouldn't realize it was an escape. Do you believe it?

Ok, so the list of angels continues to grow.

Thanks to Phil and Linda who came over and helped Bax learn about the water treatment system at home. Thanks to our neighbors Hussein and Nargges who are trying to feed Bax while I am gone. To Bonnie who sent Gary a funny sign to show "well-intentioned clods" when he didn't want any company. And to Cynthia the wonderful patient care tech who once again braved the sling shower to give Gary a much needed cleaning. Although this time we were better prepared for the water park. We were the laughing stock of the hallway wearing plastic trash bags taped on with adhesive tape.

Thanks to Bax who is keeping the home fires burning and as always to Hali who volunteered to come up and help me make sure the medical staff was doing their job well enough. ("Someone has got to stay on top of them and let's face it, Mom you don't like confrontation").

And lastly thanks to South Dakota Shell who is sending me a word for each day. Today's word is "laughter".

Each of you who have sent cards have really helped, and all the prayers are wonderful. We even received a nice letter from a church in TN letting us know they are praying for us. I guess the best thing that has come from this so far is to be the recipients of so much love. Thank you all from both of us,

Judi and Gary